


Writer's Block

by toxzen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Beads, BDSM, Cock Rings, Depression, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Shibari, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Tags to be added, assistant!Eren, ereri, writer!levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:09:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7685797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxzen/pseuds/toxzen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi Ackerman is an international best-selling author and Eren Jaeger has recently become his live-in personal assistant.<br/>---<br/>aka i binged-watched junjou romantica and wanted to write an ereri version. (summary to be expanded upon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title may change. and god forbid i just focus on the projects i already have going

**** **Chapter One**

 

**Eren’s POV**

 

I walked slowly down the hallway away from the elevator toward the apartment door. Hange had given me permission to enter the apartment even if I didn’t receive an answer, but I still felt a little uncomfortable going into someone’s else home without their knowledge. When I reached the door, I knocked on it, though I didn’t expect a response. I had buzzed the intercom eight times before letting myself in.

As expected, I didn’t hear the apartment’s sole occupant on the other side of the door. I fished out the key Hange had given me and slipped it into the lock. I pushed the door open and found a wide entry hall leading into an enormous living space. I gaped as I stepped over the threshold. I had never seen an apartment as massive as this one. I rolled my suitcase into the entry hall and dropped my backpack on top of it. I kicked off my shoes and set them carefully on the shoe rack by the door. Closing the door behind me, I walked down the entry hall. 

The living room, dining room, and kitchen occupied the same space. The living space was furnished with plain white, blocky couches. Past them stood a stark black table and chairs. On my left was an open stairwell leading up to a balcony. Two doors stood off the balcony. To my right was the kitchen. I headed over to the granite island and dropped the groceries onto the counter. 

I set about preparing breakfast. I wanted the first meal I presented to my new boss to be awe-inspiring. I labored over the skillet, frying up strips of bacon, and tended to pancakes in another pan. I lost track of time, and my surroundings for that matter, as I worked.

Suddenly, something smacked me upside the head. I yelped loudly and toppled away from my assailant. I fell to the floor and twisted around. A short, dark-haired man stood above me, clutching a broom in his hands. The man was pale and incredibly small. If he turned sideways, he’d probably disappear. He was dressed in baggy sweatpants and a loose, black t-shirt. His bare feet poked out beyond the hem of the pants. Stark black hair hung around a narrow face. Sharp, gray eyes bore into me. He was gaunt and heavy circles hung below his eyes. His lips were twisted in a scowl.

“What the Hell do you think you’re doing? Breaking into someone’s house like this and making breakfast,” the man demanded as he gestured at the stove with the broom.

I stared up at my assailant in confusion.

“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?” Levi Ackerman demanded. 

“Didn’t, didn’t Hange tell you I was coming?” I asked. “I’m Eren, Eren Jaeger. I’m your new assistant.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed. He sniffed in annoyance and turned away from me. He marched into the living room and pulled out his phone. I stood up and hurriedly saw to the pancakes and bacon, which were a touch too crispy because of the interruption.

“Hange, who the fuck is this brat and what’s he doing in my apartment?” 

I glanced over my shoulder at Levi, who was snarling into his phone.

“No, you didn’t tell me he was coming…I don’t remember that…” A slightly sheepish expression crossed Levi’s face as Hange spoke and he glanced in my direction.

I busied myself with breakfast.

“You should have reminded me he was coming,” Levi muttered. He walked over to the door that stood open at the end of the entry hall. He set the broom inside. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Levi hung up. He closed the closet door and turned around.

“Sorry I surprised you,” I said. I turned away from the stove with two plates laden with pancakes and bacon.

“No problem,” Levi said as he walked over to the dining room table, upon which I had already laid out plates and silverware. “Sorry I hit you.”

“No worries.” I laughed and set the plates of food down on the table. ”Some of it got a little burned.”

Levi shrugged. 

“Is there coffee?” he asked as he began to flip absentmindedly through his phone. He drew his foot onto the chair and wrapped his arm around his knee.

“Yes.” I hastened back into the kitchen and grabbed the coffee pot. “What do you take it with?”

“Nothing,” Levi said. 

I nodded. I prepared my mug of coffee with cream and sugar, but left Levi’s black. I carried the cups carefully to the table and set Levi’s down in front of him. He picked it up by the brim and brought it to his lips. I settled down in the chair beside him and began dishing food onto our plates.

While Levi sipped his coffee slowly and perused his phone, I dug into my breakfast. I had taken the more burnt pancakes and bacon. I couldn’t impress Levi with my cooking skills by presenting him burnt food. 

A few minutes passed before Levi set down his mug and phone on the table. He stretched his arms over his head, causing his shoulders to pop.

“So, Eren,” he said as he dropped his arms back to his sides. “You’re my assistant now is that it?”

“Uh, yes,” I said after I had swallowed my mouthful of pancake.

“What exactly does that entail?” Levi said blandly. He carefully sectioned off a small piece of pancake with his fork. He brought it to his lips and took it daintily off the prongs with his teeth.

“I’ll be cooking all your meals and helping around the house with chores. I can also go grocery shopping. Really anything you need me to do.” I shrugged. 

“How’d you get saddled with this waste of time?” Levi said with a small snort. 

“Hange assigned me the job,” I said. “I was doing this sort of grunt work at the publishing house so this is pretty much the same deal, though I’ll be living here with you Hange said. If that’s okay,” I added hastily when Levi raised his eyebrows.

“That’s fine.” He stood up. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“You didn’t eat any of it,” I said weakly as I watched him walk away from the table.

He didn’t reply until he reached the stairs. He placed his hand on the banister and glanced at me over his shoulder.

“You can do whatever you like here,” Levi said. “There’s just one rule: do not come upstairs." He gestured to the balcony above him.

“No problem,” I said with a nod. “Are you sure you don’t want anymore food?” I gestured lamely to the barely-touched breakfast on his plate.

Levi didn’t answer. He turned and headed up the steps. He went to the first door and vanished through it.

I released a small breath when he was out of sight. Hange had warned me that Levi was antisocial and rather peculiar, so I wasn’t too surprised by his behavior. I wasn't entirely certain how to behave around him, however. On top of him being difficult to socialize with, he was also Levi Freaking Ackerman, the author of every single one of my all time favorite books. He’d been my literary idol for six years now, ever since I’d picked up his first novel when I was sixteen. He was the reason I wanted to be an editor. And now here I was in his house, having just cooked breakfast for him—though he hadn’t eaten much of that—and I was going to be _living_ with him for who knew how long, but most likely until Hange was no longer worried that he was going to accidentally starve himself to death. Apparently Levi was one of those problem authors who got so caught up in their work that they forgot to eat and take care of themselves in general. It was my job to make sure he stayed alive to write more best-selling novels.

After I had finished my meal—because I wasn’t about to waste a perfectly good breakfast—I cleared the table and went to collect my things. Levi hadn’t pointed out the guest room to me, but Hange had assured me that there was one so I poked around for it, careful not to tread too close to the stairs since I had been explicitly forbidden from going upstairs.

I found the guest room through one of the doors off the entry hall. I brought my suitcase and backpack into it and set about unpacking. Once I had stored my belongings in their new homes, I went back into the living room. My intention had been to tidy things up, but the space was honestly immaculate. Instead, I looked around the first floor to figure out the layout. There was a bathroom attached to the guest room as well as one across the entry hall. Beneath the stairs, was a door that opened into an expansive library. I trailed around the perimeter of the room with wide-eyed wonder. The floor-to-ceiling shelves were chalk-full of books. Glass cases stood at odd intervals around the room and beautiful manuscripts, embossed with gold leaf, were displayed proudly within them. 

This room was also a picture of cleanliness. For someone who couldn’t take care of himself to literally save his life, Levi was an impressively organized and tidy person. 

I left the library and returned to the kitchen. I had taken stock of things while unpacking the groceries earlier. The only thing Levi had had in the refrigerator before I had arrived had been a pack of seltzer water. The freezer had been just as barren with only a few ice packs within its cold depths. I had bought only the necessities this morning so I would have to go grocery shopping again. Hange had given me an impressive budget. The publishing house was sparing no expenses to keep their favorite author functioning.

Since it was only nine in the morning and I had nothing else to do until lunch, I decided to finish grocery shopping. I didn’t know what sort of food Levi liked, so I purchased the basics. 

I returned to Levi’s apartment in time to whip up a light meal of turkey club sandwiches. I doubted Levi would eat much of this meal either, but it was worth a shot. I approached the stairs and weakly called:

“Mr. Ackerman?” 

There was no reply.

I tried again, this time more loudly. I received the same result. I called out to him several more times before the door closest to the top of the stairs finally banged open.

“What?” Levi snapped as he stalked over to the top of the stairs.

“Lunch is ready,” I said as I twisted the hem of my hoodie.

“Not hungry,” Levi replied.

“You should still eat even if you aren’t hungry,” I pressed.

“I’m fine.” Levi turned away and headed back toward the door.

“I’ll tell Hange if you don’t eat.”

Levi looked over his shoulder. His eyes narrowed and his lips pursed slightly. After a few more moments of appraising me with annoyance, he turned back around and marched down the steps. 

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself,” he said haughtily as he passed me and headed to the table. 

I laughed quietly and followed him to the table. Along with the sandwiches, I had set out one of the cans of seltzer that had been in the fridge. Levi sat down heavily and grabbed the can. He opened it and took a long swig.

I sat down in my seat and dug into my sandwich. Food shopping always made me hungry. While I wolfed down my sandwich, Levi made no move to do the same with his own. Instead, he sipped slowly on his carbonated beverage.

“Why’d you agree to be a glorified housewife?” Levi asked as he set his drink down on the table. His gaze was still rooted on his phone.

“It pays well,” I said with a shrug. No need for me to bring up the fact that I was head-over-heels in love with every book Levi had ever written and had practically tackled Hange when they asked me if I wanted to be Levi’s assistant. “I’m still in college so this is a really good gig for me.”

“What year are you?” Levi still had looked up at me during this conversation.

“I’m a senior at Trost,” I said with a happy grin.

“Erwin’s intern is a senior at Trost,” Levi said with a small frown.

“That’s Armin! He’s my best friend.”

Armin, being the prodigy child that he was, had wrangled the position of personal assistant for Survey Publishing’s best editor. For whatever reason, however, Levi and Erwin weren’t paired together, and instead Hange was Levi’s editor. I didn't know Erwin all that well, but from what Armin had told me he was renowned in the publishing house for having authors who always got their work in before the deadline. Levi was the exact opposite in this regard. Their differences in work ethic was probably the reason why they didn't work together.

“Hm.” Levi nodded slowly. 

"Are you working on anything right now? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Yeah."

I wasn't entirely certain which question he was answering, but thankfully he continued.

"I have a short story to write for this collaborative thing or something." Levi shrugged. "It's a bitch and a half to write." Levi's small nose wrinkled in annoyance.

"How come?" I asked with a laugh.

"The publishing house is putting together this stupid anthology thing showcasing a bunch of their authors and I have to write a stupid story for it." Levi shook his head. 

"That's annoying," I said with a slow nod.  I had heard about the short story anthology from Armin; apparently, Erwin's authors were also having a tough time coming up with stories.  "Are you having trouble coming up with an idea?"

"No, I have an idea, but my brain's fucking constipated." Levi shook his head. 

His words caused me to laugh again. I was glad I had found a topic that he was so ready to talk about.

“Thanks for lunch,” he said as he stood up. "I should get back to work."

“You didn’t eat anything,” I pointed out slowly.

“I’ll take it upstairs with me,” he said. He picked up the plate with his untouched sandwich.

I couldn’t rightfully accuse him of not eating since there was a chance he’d eat upstairs, so I just watched him go. I had the feeling that he was taking the meal with him simply to appease me. I sighed. I wasn’t sure what I had expected when I met Levi, but I hadn’t been expecting a shabby, exhausted recluse who had the social skills of a stool. Whenever I had seen him around the office, he had looked so put together, and at publishing parties and the like he’d looked downright suave.

“Oh.” Levi paused on the steps and glanced over his shoulder. “One of my fuck buddies is coming over tonight for dinner and—“ Levi shrugged—“so if you wouldn’t mind just staying in the guest room, that’d be great. He’s a little shy.”

“Y-yeah, that’s fine,” I said as my face flooded with color. “Do you need me to make dinner?”

“No, he’s bringing takeout.” Levi turned around and headed upstairs.

I sat, stunned, at the dining room table as I watched Levi ascend the stairs. I didn’t fully understand what had just happened. Levi’s fuck buddy was coming over tonight, not just any fuck buddy but _one_ of his fuck buddies. On top of that his fuck buddy was a _guy_. Not that that was a problem—I was as gay as the day was long—but the press had field days on the odd occasions that Levi went out to dinner with a fellow author. Yet, here Levi was with multiple fuck buddies, one of whom was male, and he had somehow managed to keep all of this out of the press.

“Another thing,” Levi called down to me when he reached the door, “Hange is coming over this afternoon and you’re going to sign a non-disclosure contract. Everyone who enters this apartment has to sign it. You should have already signed it, but Hange had a meeting this morning so they couldn’t come over when you first got here.”

“That’s not a problem,” I said.

Levi nodded and vanished into the upstairs room. I released a shaking breath and began to collect the dishes from the table. Well, that certainly answered the question of how the press didn’t know about Levi’s personal affairs. My anxiety had bubbled up because Levi had looked me directly in the eye when he had bestowed these two tidbits of information on me. His cold gray eyes had had a challenging gleam in them, as if to say ‘got a problem?’. As I had said, I didn’t have a problem with the contract, nor did I have one with the male fuck buddy. I was, however, starting to wonder what exactly I had gotten myself into when I had agreed to be Levi Ackerman’s live-in assistant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've updated the tags now that i have a better idea of the direction this is going in. this chapter has self-harm in it. i know some readers don't like this topic. i help process my own shit by writing about this sort of thing whereas reading it can trigger me. but yeah just a heads up that this fic is going to go into heavy mental health stuff. it's all going to work out and have a happy ending though!

**Eren’s POV**

 

Hange had come by the apartment an hour after lunch. Levi didn’t come downstairs to greet his editor. Hange didn’t mind since they’d only come by to have me sign the contract and see how I was settling in. The contract was rather dense, but Hange walked me through it. The gist of it was that I couldn’t tell anyone what I learned about Levi while I lived with him. Hange did tell me that if I was ever worried Levi was a danger to himself, then I should call them or Erwin. The idea that this was a possibility terrified me, but Hange assured me that Levi hadn’t had an ‘episode’ in quite some time. The rest of the contract ensured that I wouldn’t try to steal any of Levi’s ideas or manuscripts.

After I had signed the contract, Hange had hung around to chat. I had mentioned to them that Levi had forbade me access to the second floor.

“Don’t worry,” they had said, “I couldn’t get up there for almost a year. Levi is a very private person. Hence this.” They tapped their knuckle on the contract.

Once they had left, I had gone to the guest room to relax. Levi wouldn’t be needing me for the rest of the night since he would be otherwise occupied. The idea that my favorite author was going to be banging his fuck buddy in the same apartment that I was in made me feel exceptionally embarrassed. Because of this, I had opted for busying myself with a video game. I played throughout the rest of the afternoon. It was a little odd to think that I was more or less being paid to do this, but I wasn’t complaining.

A sudden noise from the bedroom door made me pause the game. I pulled off my headphones with a frown. There was another knock on the door, confirming that I had in fact heard something. I got off the bed and hurried to the door. I pulled it open. 

Levi stood just past the threshold. He was dressed in a fresh pair of sweats and a shirt. His hair was damp and brushed back from his forehead. My stomach dropped. _What the fudge? Did he just take a post-sex shower?!_ I thought.

“Hey, did I wake you?” Levi asked as he cocked his head slightly.

“No, sorry, I was playing a game.” I gestured over my shoulder to my laptop which was lying on the coverlet. “Do you need something?”

“I just wanted to let you know my fuck buddy’s not coming over.”

“Do you need me to make dinner for you?” I asked as a blush crept up my face. I didn’t understand how Levi could talk so casually to me, a complete stranger, about that sort of thing.

“No, he sent Chinese food over. You can have some if you want.”

“Oh, yeah, that’d be great. Thanks!” I had rationed away a meager dinner for myself so I wouldn’t have to leave the guest room, but it hadn’t been enough to sustain me so I was more than happy to dig into Chinese food.

“Cool.” Levi turned and walked down the hall.

I followed him into the living room. The TV was on and cartons of Chinese food were set up on the coffee table. They were unopened, I noted. Levi curled up on couch and picked up his can of seltzer off the end table. His eyes were already fixed to the screen. 

I fetched a pair of plates from the kitchen, as well as a set of silverware for myself since I couldn’t use chopsticks to save my life, and brought them to the coffee table. I ladled portions of the food onto the plates. 

“Here you go,” I said as I held out one of the plates for Levi.

His eyes shifted to the plate. He stared at it for a moment before sighing quietly. He set down his beverage and took the plate from me. I passed him the chopsticks and he took them rather begrudgingly.

“Why didn’t your friend come over?” I asked as I settled down on the floor in front of the coffee table. I didn’t want to risk making a mess by not eating over a table. 

“He had work to do,” Levi said with a shrug. His thin fingers handled the chopsticks delicately, but the most he did with them was push his food around his plate. 

I nodded and looked down at my own food. A slightly awkward silence settled over us. At least, it felt that way to me. Levi seemed content in the silence. His gaze had returned to the TV. He had it tuned to a cooking channel. Normally, I loved watching cooking shows, but tonight my attention was fixed on Levi. I didn’t stare at him because I didn’t want him to notice me, but my heart was thrumming in my chest. After all, I was sitting next to the my favorite author. 

I couldn’t help but notice as the minutes dragged by that Levi wasn’t eating. This close to him, I could see that he was worryingly thin. His wrists peeked out beyond his long sleeves and were almost fragile in appearance. I had the disconcerting feeling that I could snap him in half without any effort. 

Finally, when a commercial break rolled around, he took a small bite of his fried rice. Hopefully he would keep that up. Hange had made me feel a bit like I would be single-handedly responsible for Levi’s survival and if he ate as sparingly as he seemed to, that would prove difficult.

“So, Eren,” Levi said as he glanced down at me.

“Y-yes,” I said with a flush as I looked quickly away from him.

“Tell me a bit about yourself.”

“Like what?” I asked. I picked at my food.

“Why did you start working at the publishing house?” Levi asked. He took another dainty bite of his rice.

“I want to be an editor,” I said with an excited grin.

“Then why’d you agree to be my maid?” Levi said. His eyebrow quirked slightly.

“I’m not your maid,” I mumbled as my cheeks turned a rosy red. 

“Personal assistant,” Levi amended with a soft chuckle.

“I was doing scut jobs like this at the publishing house, and now I don’t have to pay rent.” I grinned up at him.

“So you’re a mooch?”

My smile falter and my eyes grew wide. That wasn’t what I had meant; I had just been joking around. It was true I didn’t have to pay rent now, but that wasn’t why I had taken the job.

“H-Hange said I can also go to your meetings at the publishing house with you,” I said in a wavering voice. “I’ll learn a lot that way.”

“Don’t worry, kid,” Levi said. “I was only teasing you. That sounds like a good gig, but, just so you know, my editorial meetings are boring as fuck.”

“That’s okay,” I said. I gave a small smile. I was glad Levi had only been teasing me, though I hadn’t been able to tell in the slightest. On top of that, I couldn’t figure out where this ‘kid’ nonsense was coming from; I was twenty-two, and I knew for a fact that Levi was only twenty-seven. 

“What made you want to be an editor?” Levi asked. He looked up at the TV, since the commercials had ended now.

“Oh, I, I really like reading.” No way in heck was I going to admit that Levi’s books had made me fall in love with literature. “I wanted to be a writer for a bit, but I’m not good at it.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. Writing just takes practice.”

“I don’t really want to hear that from the guy whose very first manuscript became an international best-seller when he was only twenty-one,” I muttered under my breath.

Levi gave a small giggle. He brought his hand to his mouth to hide the sound, but I heard it as clear as day, and, damn, was he adorable when he giggled. His nose crinkled up and he suddenly didn’t look quite so exhausted.

“So what’s your favorite book?” he asked. 

I opened my mouth and then quickly bit my lip. This was so incredibly embarrassing. Levi glanced over at me when I didn’t answer. He raised his eyebrows as he took another bite of his food.

“ _Die Flügel der Freiheit_ ,” I finally mumbled under my breath.

Levi’s hand froze in midair, leaving his chopsticks suspended a few inches from his mouth. A small blush colored his high cheekbones. He quickly put down his chopsticks and hid his face behind his hand.

“This is oddly embarrassing,” he said.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” My favorite book was the very same manuscript that I mentioned before. I had picked it up on a whim because I was part German and could read the title. I hadn’t expected to become engrossed in it, but I had ended up reading half of it right there in the bookstore. 

“Uh, thank you, I guess,” Levi finally said. He sat forward and set his plate down on the coffee table. “Is that why you wanted to be my personal assistant?”

“Sorry, is that weird?” I asked quietly as I glanced down at the floor.

“No, it’s flattering.”

I gave a small sigh of relief as I looked back up at him.

“Would you mind cleaning up the dishes? I’m going to get back to writing,” he said.

“Do you want to take your food with you?” I asked, picking up his plate and offering it to him.

“That’s okay,” Levi said with a shake of his head. “I’m not hungry."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he continued.

“I don’t usually have a very big appetite when I’m stuck on a project,” he explained. “You don’t have to worry.”

“I could look at what you've written if you want,” I offered before realizing what I had. I flushed. “Y-you don’t have to. I probably wouldn’t be a good beta reader.”

“Sure,” Levi said with a shrug. “You can have a look.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll print out a copy and bring it down.” Levi got off the couch and walked over to the steps.

I watched him ascend them. He vanished into the door closest to the head of the stairs. My heart was hammering in my chest. I was going to read Levi’s first draft of his latest story. Me, Eren Jaeger, absolute nobody in the grand scheme of things. I was so excited I couldn’t sit still, so I busied myself with clearing away the dishes. Levi had actually made a sizable dent in his portion, relative to how much I had seen him eat throughout the day. I found the Tupperware he had stowed away in one of the cabinets and put the leftovers in one of them.

Levi was walking down the stairs by the time I had finished putting the dishes in the dish washer. He held a stack of papers in his hands. 

“Thanks,” I said eagerly as I hurried over to the couch.

He nodded as he handed me the draft. I sat down on the couch and immediately began pouring over it. Levi didn’t take a seat and instead stood over me, watching me as I read. This was a touch unnerving. Typically, when I read Levi’s work, I would become utterly engrossed in it and not notice my surroundings. This time was different. The story wasn’t compelling in the slightest, which made me painfully aware of the author’s presence above me.

It took about ten minutes to read the story. Levi somehow managed to hover over me this entire time. He didn’t seem particularly impatient, more like he had nothing better to do. Finally I lowered the draft into my lap. I frowned as I tried to formulate a diplomatic way of pointing just how atrocious I had found the story.

“So?” Levi said. “Thoughts?”

“Um.” My eyes flickered between the floor and and his face. “The storyline was interesting.”

“Spit it out, Jaeger,” Levi said as he folded his arms. “You’re going to be a shit editor if you try to coddle your authors all the time.”

"It's not well written and it’s not very engaging,” I said in a rush.

“Well. Tell me how you really feel.”

“It’s really bad.” I gazed up at him with wide eyes.

Levi slowly cocked his head to the side. His nose wrinkled.

“I was being sarcastic.” He reached out and tugged the draft out of my hand.

“S-sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s just not as good as your other work.”

“Phrasing it like that is a little better,” Levi said as he turned around and headed for the stairs. 

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I just got so nervous I wasn’t thinking.”

“Don’t worry. I already knew it was shit,” Levi said as he waved dismissively. 

“It’s not that bad,” I said plaintively. 

“If you think it’s bad and say it’s bad, then stick to your guns. Don’t try to sugar coat it after the fact,” Levi said. He reached the upstairs door. “You’d be a piss poor editor if you did that.” He shook his head and entered the room. The door clicked shut behind him.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Not only had I told Levi Ackerman to his face that his draft was shitty, but he had also returned the favor by saying I was a bad editor. I knew I wasn’t good; after all I had no experience and that had certainly shown when I had completely bungled what should have been constructive criticism. 

I scrambled off the couch and hurried to the guest room. I should call Armin; he could help me calm down, but the crushing despair of having my favorite author absolutely hate me was too much for me.

I raced into the guest room bathroom and knelt down in front of the sink. I yanked open the bottom drawer. My hands were shaking as I drew out the box I had stowed there. I opened it. An array of blades glinted within the box. I removed one. I absolutely hated doing this and in the back of my head a voice was pleading with me to stop, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep or even think clearly until I got this urge out of system.

When I had finished, I bandaged my arm and wrapped it in gauze. I put my things away and cleaned up the bathroom. The most therapeutic part of all this came at the end, when I cleaned everything up. This I could fix, unlike the absolute disaster I had left in my wake where Levi was concerned.

I got ready for bed and settled beneath the coverlet. I laid on my side and cradled my throbbing arm against my chest. I wondered if Levi would ask for a new personal assistant . He probably didn't want anything more to do with me after what I'd said. This thought brought tears to my eyes. He was my favorite author, my idol; because of him I had actually gotten my shit together in high school because I wanted to get a literary degree and become an editor. Honestly, I wanted to be _his_ editor, but clearly, that would never happen. Why would he want me after what I’d said?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr and insta: toxzen


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update. i was at boston comic con this weekend and i really haven't been in a writing mood (i'll literally write one sentence and then go to chrome and just cruise around it's so bad)

**Eren’s POV**

 

“Good morning.”

I glanced around at the sound of Levi’s voice. He was shuffling across the living room. A lit cigarette dangled from his lips. His hair was a mess and he had on the same clothes he’d been wearing the night before.

“Hi,” I said quietly. I looked back at the coffee pot, which the machine was steadily filling with the rejuvenating liquid.

From the look of exhaustion on Levi’s face, he would definitely need coffee. I had already prepared a light breakfast of yogurt and fruit. If Levi didn’t have an appetite because of his writing, then he probably wouldn’t want a heavy breakfast like waffles or something.

Levi walked over to the counter and leaned against it. He watched the molten brown liquid pour gently into the coffee pot. His thin fingers drew the cigarette away from his lips.

“Breakfast is on the table,” I said in soft voice. “I can bring the coffee over when it’s done. Also, I’m really sorry about what I said last night.” I bit my lip and kept my eyes fixed on the coffee mugs. My fingers toyed with the handle of one of the mugs.

“Don’t worry about it,” Levi said as he pushed away from the counter. He passed me and reached out his hand toward my arm.

I gasped and jerked my arm away. My fingers caught the mug’s handle and sent it flying off the counter. It shattered on the floor.

“Sorry!” I gasped as I knelt to pick up the shards.

“That’s okay,” Levi said as he bent to help me.

“I-I’ll get it,” I said as I hastily grabbed at the shards. My heart was hammering. Sure, my long sleeves hid the bandaging on my left arm, but I couldn’t bear people touching my arm after I’d hacked it up.

“Careful Jaeger, you’re going to—“

I gasped as my thumb caught on one of the fragments and was sliced open. Blood bubbled from the small wound. Levi sighed quietly and straightened. He beckoned me to stand as well.

“Come on. Let’s clean that up.”

“It’s okay; I can do it.” 

“Jaeger,” Levi said in a stern voice.

I ducked my head and hurriedly rose. Levi ushered me to the sink and flicked on the faucet. He put out his cigarette in the ashtray by the sink. I held my thumb under the stream of cold water per Levi’s instruction. Levi went to the bathroom and fetched a first aide kit.When he returned to the counter, he turned off the faucet and handed me a dish cloth to dry my hand with.

“It’s okay if you get blood on it,” he said. He slid a pair of rubber gloves onto his hands.

I nodded and dried my thumb off so he could apply the bandaid. When Levi had finished wrapping my thumb up, he ordered me to go to the dining room table while he cleaned up the kitchen.

I sullenly obeyed him. I sat in one of the dining room chairs and gazed down at the breakfast I had prepared. I felt utterly useless and stupid. It was my job to clean things up, not make a mess and break things. I glanced over my shoulder to watch Levi work. 

He had fetched a broom and dustpan from the closet to sweep up the broken mug. He then took out a mop and wiped up, presumably, my blood. Once he had finished cleaning, he got a new mug from the cupboard and poured two mugs of steaming coffee. 

“Thanks,” I said quietly as he approached me and held out one of the mugs.

He nodded and sat down in one of the chairs. I poured milk and sugar into my coffee and stirred the mixture together. Levi watched me work with hooded eyes.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

“No, it’s fine. Sorry about that. I can be a little clumsy.”

“It’s not a problem,” he said as he put his mug down on the table. He picked up his spoon and pushed it into the yogurt. He stirred around the yogurt absentmindedly. 

“S-so, you don’t, like, hate me because of what I said last night?” I asked in a shaking voice.

“No, of course not,” Levi said with a shake of his head. “I don’t mind when my editors are blunt with me, but that’s a rare trait in an author, so you should try to be a little more tactful next time.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. I took a small bite of my yogurt.

“It’s okay,” Levi said with a shrug. “I knew the piece was shit anyway.”

“Why’d you have me read it then?”

“I was curious if you were the type of editor who would try to make me feel good about myself no matter what I write.”

“Editors do that?”

“Sure,” Levi said. “Some of them don’t want to upset me and others believe I shit gold with everything I write.” Levi shook his head. “I went through a ton of editors until I found Hange. They tell it how it is, and I like that in a editor. Learn a bit more tact and you might be like that one day.”

I smiled as a pleased blush colored my cheeks. I felt worlds better now than I had last night. Levi thought I had potential. I wanted to squeal with joy, but I contained myself.

“There’s more that goes into an editor than just feedback,” Levi continued, “but you’ll learn. I have an editorial meeting today; you can come in for that.”

“Okay, great,” I said eagerly. I was feeling much more peppy now. “What’s the meeting going to be about?”

“The short story for the collaboration,” Levi said. 

“The one you showed me last night?” I asked in confusion as my spoonful of yogurt hovered away from my mouth.

“Yup,” Levi said. “The deadline for the draft was two days ago—“

“What?!” I choked on my bite of yogurt. After hacking a bit unbecomingly I finally managed to say, “And you only had _that_ written.”

Levi scowled at me, but honestly it looked more like a pout than anything else.

“Yes,” he said in voice that bordered on sulky. “I’ve been a bit stuck on this story.”

“Did you finish it last night then?” I asked.

“Yes.” Levi nodded. This was probably why he looked so exhausted this morning. “It's not my best work, but now it’s Hange’s problem.”

“When’s the final draft due?” I asked. 

“The deadline two days ago was for the final draft,” Levi said with a shrug. He took a small bite of his yogurt.

My eyes widened and I gaped at him over the rim of my coffee mug.

“But that’s Erwin’s problem,” Levi said, “and honestly he can blow me.” Levi ate another spoonful of yogurt before rising from his seat. “Thanks for breakfast. I’m going to get changed and then we’ll leave for the publishing house.”

I nodded as I watched him cross the living space. I couldn’t quite fathom the fact that he was two days late for a final draft deadline. No wonder Erwin wasn’t his editor; Erwin probably would have suffered an aneurysm if one his writers was that late. 

I cleared the table and transferred Levi’s coffee into a travel mug. I was already dressed for the day so I went to the couch and leaned back against it. I scrolled through my phone as I waited for the author to return from upstairs. Armin had texted me this morning to see how I was settling in, but I had still been in a funk from last night and hadn’t wanted to text him. I was feeling better now, so I sent him a quick reply with as little detail as possible, since I was contractually obligated not to reveal too much information about the happenings in the apartment.

“Ready to go?”

I glanced up at the sound of Levi’s voice. The author was slowly descending the stairs. Patent leather Oxfords clicked quietly against the steps. He was dressed in a crisp, tailored suite that hugged his thin frame. His hair was combed evenly around his face and he’d somehow managed to erase the dark circles under his eyes. This was the author I was use to seeing stride through the publishing house with Hange or Erwin. This suave, sophisticated Levi was in stark juxtaposition to the one that I met yesterday.

“Ah, yes,” I said quickly as I straightened up. I held out the travel mug to him. “Do you want to finish your coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Levi said as he took the travel mug from me. He led the way down the entry hall and we exited the apartment.

Levi went to the elevator and pressed the call button. We waited in silence. Levi scrolled through his phone and sipped absentmindedly at his coffee. The elevator arrived with a soft ding and we piled in. Levi asked me to press the button for the garage and I did so.

When we arrived at the garage level, Levi led the way to his car. I gaped at the beautiful, sleek, black sports car that straddled a parking space line. Each apartment in the complex had one parking space, so Levi had to pay extra to get two spots. The car doors swung up and open when Levi clicked the remote key. 

I climbed into the passenger seat and gazed around at the immaculate interior. Levi climbed into his side and closed to the doors. He ordered me to buckle up and I did so, though I noted that he didn’t put on his seatbelt. I hesitated to remind him to put on his. He clearly hadn’t forgotten about the necessity to wear a seatbelt since he had told me to put on mine, so he was consciously making the choice not wear one. This thought worried me somewhat, but I didn’t want to annoy him by pestering him.

Levi pulled out of the parking place with practiced grace. We zipped out of the underground parking garage and merged into traffic. It took us ten minutes to arrive at the publishing house. I gripped the sides of my seat the entire time. Levi drove like a bat out of hell. I wasn’t concerned for my safety since he was a diligent and smart driver, but I was nervous we’d be pulled over for speeding.

We reached the publishing house without incident, however. Levi parked in the garage beneath the building and led the way to the literature floor. The publishing company dedicated itself to all sorts of media, but the only floor I had ever been on, or wanted to be on, was the literature one. 

Levi brought me with him to Hange’s office. The editor wasn’t there when we arrived. Levi dropped his manuscript on Hange’s desk and sat down in one of the armchairs. I followed suite and we waited in silence for Levi’s editor to arrive.

When they did, they were exceptionally exasperated. Apparently even Hange would get annoyed when a final draft was this late. I didn’t much blame them. From what I had heard, Levi had made a habit about submitting late. He would occasionally be told off by Erwin for this, but the author would always shoot back that it was late or nothing at all.

“You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that, right?” Hange said as they settled down behind their desk. “This better be good. Erwin is threatening to cut you from the compilation.”

“Thank God,” Levi said dryly.

Hange rolled their eyes. The threat was an entirely empty one. The compiled work wouldn’t sell nearly as well without Levi’s work in it.

Hange perused the manuscript in silence. When they were finished, they released a small sigh and dropped the bundle of paper onto the desk.

“It’s good,” they said, “not great, but good. We can work with this.”

And work with this we did. Levi took out a small notebook from the inside pocket of his jacket and jotted down Hange’s suggestions. As far as I could tell, they reworked the entire plot line, which was in no way similar to the one that I had read last night. Levi didn’t seem too put off by this. The number of times he nodded and said “good idea” indicated that he was fully on board with Hange’s suggestions. His facial expressions of course did nothing to show this since they remained bland throughout the conversation. 

After four hours, Hange and Levi finally finished the editorial session. Levi told his editor that he’d have the final draft for them tonight. 

“Erwin wants to see you,” Hange informed Levi as they rose.

“Fuck that,” Levi said with a shake of his head. “I’m going to home to write this up.” He waved his notebook.

“Okay,” Hange said with a shake of their head. “It was good to see you, Eren.” They smiled brightly at me. 

“You too,” I said with a small wave as I followed Levi out of the office.

When we reached the elevator, Levi stamped his thumb against the call button in an annoyed fashion. He glanced over his shoulder and muttered a small curse. I followed his gaze and saw the editor-in-chief walking down the hall toward us. Erwin was shaking his head in a bereaved fashion as he approached.

“Levi,” Erwin said in a scolding fashion.

“Come on,” Levi muttered as he pressed the down button again.

The elevator didn’t arrive in time for Levi to escape. He sighed in annoyance and turned around when Erwin was a few paces away from us.

“What do you want?” Levi glowered up at the editor-in-chief. The top of his head barely reached Erwin’s shoulder. 

“How is your manuscript for the compilation coming along?” Erwin asked.

“Just ask Hange about that,” Levi said with a dismissive wave his hand.

Erwin’s only reply was to raise his eyebrows.

“I’ll have it done by tonight,” Levi said with a sigh. 

“Will it be any good?” Erwin asked.

“You wouldn’t see it if it wasn’t,” Levi snapped.

“True.” Erwin shrugged.

“How was your meeting last night?” Levi asked as the elevator arrived. He stepped inside and held the door open to continue talking with Erwin.

“Long, boring,” Erwin said with a shrug. “I look forward to seeing your final story.” Erwin waved and walked away from the elevator.

I entered the elevator and Levi pulled his arm back. I was starting to feel a lot like an accessory. Erwin had barely acknowledged my presence and I hadn’t spoken at all in the editorial meeting. 

On top of that, I couldn’t help but note that apparently Erwin had had work last night, which also happened to be the reason for why Levi’s fuck buddy had stood him up. I was probably jumping to conclusions, but it made sense; if Erwin was Levi’s fuck buddy, then he would be ‘shy’ about that sort of relations with Levi, and hence why I had been ordered to my room for the evening. All-in-all the idea that my boss and my boss's boss were hooking up embarrassed me to no end. 

These thoughts engrossed me as I followed Levi out of the elevator to his car. He asked if I had any errands to run before we headed home, but I had done all the grocery shopping I needed to do for the week yesterday, so we went straight back to the apartment. 

As soon as Levi got beyond his apartment threshold, he kicked off his Oxfords and yanked his tie off. He stripped out of the suit jacket and draped it over his shoulder. 

“I’m having someone over tonight,” Levi said as he ascended the stairs.

“But what about your story?” I asked.

“I have a few hours to finish it,” Levi said with a shrug.

“What would you like for lunch?”

“I’m all set. Thanks, kid.” Levi waved dismissively over his shoulder as he entered the room at the top of the stairs. 

Once again I found myself killing time in the guest room playing video games. Part of me wanted to leave and go see a movie or something, but I didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into Levi’s fuck buddy on the way back into the apartment. 

I immersed myself in Portal to keep my mind away from thoughts of Levi bumping uglies with one of his fuck buddies. I didn’t want to think about this simply because the thought embarrassed me to no end; there was of course no other reason. 

A sudden banging on the front door made me pause my game. I pulled off my headphones with a frown.

"Jaeger, will you get that!" Levi yelled from somewhere in the apartment.

My frown deepened. Why was Levi having me get the door when it was his fuck buddy? I scowled and climbed out off the mattress. _This had better not be a horribly awkward interaction,_ I thought as I left the guest room and went to the front door. I pulled it open and was greeted by a large box.

"Take this please," a girl's voice ordered me as the box was transferred to my arms.

I grunted as I tried to get a firm hold on the box. I stumbled backwards and propped myself against the wall.

The girl stepped over the threshold. She was my height with chin-length black hair that brushed the folds of a crimson scarf. Her face was angled and pale. Gray eyes peered at me beneath arched brows.

"You're not my brother."

"Ah, no, I'm not."

"Then who the fuck are you?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update! yay! thank you for your patience everyone i hope you enjoy~  
> i'm not sure if i should put a content warning, but i will say a safe word is used, but not heeded. that happens "off screen" though

Mikasa Ackerman was Levi’s younger sister by four years, and a renowned makeup artist in the fashion world. She had worked all sorts of runways from Fashion Week in Tokyo to the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Without knowing her, one wouldn’t have guessed she was into makeup, considering that she didn’t wear any at all. Despite this, she appeared utterly flawless. If I hadn’t sworn off chicks long ago, I probably would have been a bumbling mess around such a beauty. As it was, I was cowed into silence by her harsh demeanor. She wasn’t mean; she just rivaled Levi in the lack of social aptitude department. 

She and Levi had ordered pizza, and let me join them, which was why I was curled on the couch beside Mikasa as she and Levi chatted about a magazine shoot she had done recently. 

“Christa’s fine to work with,” Mikasa was saying. She took a bite of her third slice of pizza. “She’s not very assertive when it comes to saying she doesn’t like an outfit.”

“Mm,” Levi said with a nod. The same slice of pizza that he had grabbed twenty minutes ago sat untouched on his plate. 

“Christa Reiss?” I asked, finally working up the courage to assert myself in the conversation.

Christa was the lead in a TV show that had just started airing. I had only heard of the show since it prominently feature Christa in a relationship with her female co-star, Ymir.

“Yeah,” Mikasa said. “She’s the cover for _Marie Clare_ ’s next issue.”

“Cool,” I said.

“So, what’s in the box?” Levi asked as he nodded over to the object in question, which stood beside the coffee table. 

“Oh, that.” Mikasa put her plate the table and stood up. She pulled a switch blade out of her pocket and went to the box. She cut open the tape. “I was sent a bunch of merch from the movie I just worked on. I’m not a huge fan of the show, but I know you are, so I figured you’d like it.” She pulled out a foot tall figure of who I recognized as the main character of _Attack on_ _Titan_ , a movie that had been released in the last year.

“Thanks,” Levi said. His lips twitched in a small smile as he reached out his hands for the figure.

“The rest is just posters,” Mikasa said as she passed the figure to him. 

“I have enough of those,” Levi said. He looked over at me. “Jaeger, did you like the movie?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites,” I said excitedly. 

“You can have the posters then. Just don’t fuck up the walls in the guest room.”

“Thanks,” I said with a grin.

We spent the next thirty or so minutes discussing the movie. Levi and I were adamant in extracting every reason Mikasa didn’t like the movie from her. Apparently there hadn’t been enough blood and gore.

“That’s my favorite makeup, so maybe I’m a little biased,” she had said with a shrug. "And it's weird watching a movie you worked on. It's hard to suspend disbelief when you saw all the stars being flung around on bungie cords."

I ended up asking Levi if he had finished his draft, and he had sent an askance glance in my direction. He hadn’t finished it and Mikasa ordered him back to work before seeing herself out. He had muttered a soft ‘traitor’ in my direction as he skulked upstairs. I knew he was joking since his voice still carried the soft tone he had directed toward Mikasa over the course of the night.

Overall, it had been a pleasant evening, and I felt that I knew Levi a lot better because of it. He had been sociable and joking with his sister, and very free with his smile, which is to say I saw it about four times, which is more than I ever had before. On top of that, I hadn’t felt put off being with two people of near celebrity status. Both Ackermans were incredibly down to earth. In the end, I once again felt happy to be staying with Levi. 

* * *

 

The next day, Levi submitted his final manuscript to Hange. After announcing its completion to me with a dramatic ‘It’s finished,’ he had flopped face first onto the living room couch and hadn’t moved for quite some time. After asking him if he wanted anything to eat and not receiving an answer, I realized that he had fallen asleep.

Levi woke up several hours later and came to find me in my room. When I opened the door, rousted from my game by his persistent knocking, I found him rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. He mumbled something about food, and I made him a sandwich for lunch. I honestly couldn’t fathom what he had done without me around as far as eating was concerned.

After lunch—Levi actually ate half of the sandwich—the author declared that he was having a fuck buddy over and once again asked me to cloister myself in my room. This dampened my spirits a touch, since I had been hoping to watch a movie with Levi that evening, but I supposed Levi had quite a bit of stress to relieve. The thought had made me blush a vibrant red and I had muttered something along the lines of that not being a problem.

Levi had vanished upstairs for the remainder of the day. I had sat out in the living room doing homework until five minutes of seven, the time when Levi had said his friend would be over. 

I gathered up my things and brought them to my room. As soon as the door had closed behind me, I heard the sharp ring of the intercom. I quickly settled onto my bed and pulled on my headphones.

About fifteen minutes later, I realized I had made a grave mistake; I had left my computer charger in the living room, and my laptop was at a critically low six percent.

“Fuck,” I breathed as I flopped back on the pillows. I’d be left with nothing to do for the rest of the night if my computer died on me. 

Collecting all of my courage, I rolled off the bed and headed for the bedroom door. Levi and his friend were probably upstairs; that would make the most sense unless they were fucking on the kitchen counter. I blanched at the thought.

Carefully, I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. I peeked out down the hall. I didn’t see anyone in the living room and I couldn’t hear anything either. I stole out into the hall and crept toward the living room.

“Red!” 

I froze in horror at the sound Levi’s voice echoing from upstairs. My eyes widened and I stared up the flight of stairs. I had never heard so much expression in his voice before and the fact that the expression was one of panic chilled me to the bone.

“I said r—“ Levi’s voice was cut off suddenly.

I swallowed. My hands had grown clammy and were beginning to tremble. _Red?_   I thought. _That means 'stop' for those sort of things, right?_ My legs propelled me to the stairs before I realized what I was doing. 

I froze once again when my toes brushed the first step. I couldn’t go upstairs; I had been expressly forbidden from doing so. But what if something was happening to Levi? What if whoever he was with was hurting him? It was my job to keep the author safe. It would be horribly embarrassing if nothing was the matter, but I couldn’t bear the thought of doing nothing and letting harm befall Levi.

With this thought in mind, I took off up the stairs. I clambered up them as fast as I could and threw myself at the door that I always saw Levi going in and out of. Suddenly a muffled, desperate cry drew my attention to the second door. I hurried to it and stopped in front of it. I bit my lip and raised a shaking hand. I knocked carefully.

“Levi?” 

Silence fell in the room behind. I swallowed and knocked again. The door was suddenly yanked open and I gasped in surprise. A tall man with sandy blond hair and a sparse goatee glared down at me. I tried to see past him into the room beyond, but he blocked my view.

“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded. 

“I, I’m Levi’s assistant,” I whispered quietly. “I, um **—** ”

“Get the fuck out of here.” The man made to close the door, but my arm shot out between the door and the frame. It was pinned painfully against the wood, but I didn’t care.

“I need to see Levi,” I said in a louder voice.

“Fuck off, kid,” the man snapped. He pulled the door back and slammed it against my arm.

I yelped and bit my lip. Pain shot up my arm and I had to force down a groan of pain.

“If you don’t let me see him, I’ll call the police.” I glared up at the men. Anger was boiling up inside my chest. I felt without a shred of doubt now that this man had been hurting Levi.

The man stared down at me for a long moment. Finally he pulled the door open again. His foot shot out and he kicked me out of the doorway. I fell back against the railing with a thud and a curse. The man slammed the door shut and I heard the lock click.

“Hey, open the fuck up!” I yelled. I was starting to panic now. The man’s cold blue eyes had scared me. I didn’t like the thought of those eyes looking at Levi any longer. I threw myself to my feet and pounded my fists against the door. “Open up!”

The door was yanked open. The man shoved past me. I stumbled backward. He had a coat jacket gripped in his hand. 

“Fucker,” he hissed as he hurried down the stairs.

I didn’t wait around to see if he saw himself completely out. I darted inside and closed the door behind me. I locked it in case he changed his mind about leaving. I kept my gaze trained on the floor. A pristine white shag carpet covered the hardwood.

“Levi?” I said cautiously. I raised my head slowly. My eyes found him and I gasped.

He lay completely nude on the massive bed that dominated the center of the room. His arms were bound tightly in red rope above his head and his wrists were tied to the headboard. His legs were spread open and his knees bent to his chest. More red rope coiled around the soft white flesh of his thighs and connected to the headboard. His curved cock was in-prisoned in black leather. A long cord with a ring on the end disappeared into his exposed, puckered entrance. Droplets of blood ran down his inner thigh from thin slice marks. I finally raised my eyes to his face and gasped.

He was gagged and a blindfold obscured his vision. On top of that, heavy noise canceling headphones encompassed his ears. He had no idea what was going on; he didn’t know that man was gone.

I ran across the room and climbed onto the bed. His entire body flinched as the mattress dipped. This close I could see the tremors that wracked his body. I could also smell his cloying sweat. His body glistened with the moisture. I crawled to his side and I reached out for the headphones. I carefully removed them.

“Levi,” I said quietly so as to not scare him, “it’s me. It’s Eren. He **—** that guy’s gone.”

A sharp sigh of relief left Levi’s nose. I removed the blindfold next. His gray eyes swam with tears. He blinked up at me, causing the tears to tumble down his flushed cheekbones. Finally, I removed the gag.

“Levi, are, are you okay?” I whispered. I kept my gaze fixed on his.

“He’s gone?” Levi’s voice was low, husky. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. I made him leave. I was downstairs and I heard you yell. I know I’m not supposed to come up here—“

“Jaeger,” Levi snapped, but his voice broke on the last syllable. His eyes squeezed shut and he arched off the bed. “St-stop talking. I, I need you—“ He broke with a sharp gasp and a flush spread over his cheeks.

My face was equally red at this point. 

“Right!” I cried. “I’ll untie you.”

“No, no.” Levi’s hips bucked. “Take them out. Please.” He gritted his teeth. “Fuck. Take them out now.”

“Take what…” My voice trailed away as I stared down his body. My eyes fell on the cord and ring that vanished into his hole.

“Eren,” Levi gasped desperately. “Please, now!”

“Yes.” I quickly crawled between his legs and slipped my finger into the ring. I yanked on it.

Levi cried out. His body arced off the bed. His cock trembled and cum dripped off the tip onto his stomach. My action had worked a large bead out of his passage, about half the size of my fist. I stared at it in horror.

“Slowly, dumbass,” Levi gasped. He glowered up at me. His chest rose and fell in heavy pants.

“S-sorry,” I whispered. I gently tugged on the cord again.

Another bead squelched out of his passage. I flushed and glanced away. Levi’s desperate panting was going straight to my lower half, and I kicked myself for getting turned on by the man when he was in such state.

Another bead popped out. I squeezed my eyes shut and reached out to brace my hand against his thigh. Levi gasped quietly. I swallowed and pulled on the cord. It felt like eternity before I finally managed to remove the last bead. I knew it was the last because Levi released a desperate gasp of relief. I blinked my eyes open and looked down at him. His face was flushed and his bangs clung to his damp forehead.

“What, what now?” I asked in a voice that I wasn’t even sure was audible to him.

“The, cock, ring,” he said between pants. 

I swallowed. My trembling hand reached out and I carefully unbuttoned the strange device that constricted Levi’s dick. When it was completely undone, I tossed it aside. A guttural sigh left his lips. 

I couldn’t help but stare down at his cock. It was thick, pulsing, and dripping. Levi’s hips were shaking, causing droplets of cum to splatter on his stomach.

“D-don’t stare, Jaeger,” he panted. 

“I’m sorry.” I looked up at him quickly and my eyes met his.

“Get me off,” he said in a low voice.

“What?”

“I need you to get me off.” Levi glanced away when the last word left his lips. “Please, I seriously might die.” A soft huff of bitter laughter left his mouth.

I nodded and reached out slowly. My hand slipped around his thick length. He moaned and he thrust his cock into my palm. I closed my eyes and began to jerk him off. It only took a few jerks for Levi to come over my hand. He mewed desperately as his cum splattered over my hand and his chest. His body bucked off the bed. I continued to work his cock as he rode out the orgasm. His hot cum dripped down my hand. When he finally collapsed onto the bed and the tension left his body, I removed my hand. I wiped it on the sheet as I glanced up at him.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly. My eyes flickered to the shallow cuts that decorated the inside of his thigh. The blood had dried by now since the wounds hadn’t been that bad.

“Can’t feel my fingers,” he muttered. He jerked his chin toward a spot on the bed by his hip. “The knife. Cut the ropes.”

I looked around and caught sight of a knife lying in the rumpled sheets. Dried blood coated its sharp edge. I released a shuttering breath as I picked up the object. The sight brought back plenty of my own experiences with blood-stained knives, but I didn't have time to think about those. I pushed off my heels and hovered over Levi. He stared up at me, and I felt my cheeks heat up further. I brought the knife to the ropes that ensnared his arms and began slicing through the thick twine. 

“Hurry,” Levi begged.

I nodded. When the rope split, I tossed the knife on the pillow and desperately clawed at the ropes. I had to cut through a few more coils, but I finally managed to free Levi’s arms. They were raw, red, and bleeding in some places. They flopped limply over his face and he let out a shuddering breath.

“Legs,” he murmured.

I nodded and quickly cut his legs free as well. When he was finally free, he curled up on his side. I sat back on the bed and stared down at him. His alabaster skin glistened with sweat and I could count each of his ribs as they protruded against his skin.

“Levi, I need to clean your cuts,” I said in a low voice. “I’ll get the first aide kit. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Levi didn’t respond. I climbed off the bed and hurried downstairs. I found the first aide kit and returned to the upstairs. Levi hadn’t moved from his place on the mattress. I clambered up beside him and opened the kit.

“Levi, I need to look at the cuts.” I laid my fingers carefully on his knee.

With slow reluctance, he lifted his bent leg to reveal the thin wounds. I had ample experience tending to knife wounds, so I had Levi’s cleaned up in under a minute. After I spread the last bandage into place, I tapped his knee.

“Done.”

His leg dropped back down. He sighed quietly and rolled onto his stomach. His hip bumped against my knee. I watched as he stretched his legs out. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked over his shoulder at me. His face had returned to its usual pallor. His bangs stuck out wildly around his forehead. He watched with light gray eyes.

“I’m sorry.” The words were almost inaudible, but I caught them. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” I said. I let my hand fall to his body in what I had meant to be a reassuring fashion. Instead, I realized, I was cupping his ass. I yelped and quickly pulled my hand back. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

Levi chuckled quietly and shook his head. He sat up slowly and turned to face me. He drew one of his knees to his chest and draped his arm over it. 

“I should clean the rope burn too,” I said, nodding to the injuries that adorned his forearms. 

Levi shook his head and said, “Those will be fine. I’m going to shower anyway.” He reached up and ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks for, uh—“ His gaze flickered away from my face—“helping me out.”

“It’s my job,” I said with a small laugh.

“I seriously doubt this was in the job description.” He waved hand at the tattered ropes, knife, and cum-stained sheets. "And making me come definitely wasn't."

I flushed a vibrant red.

“N-no,” I stuttered, shaking my head slowly, “it really wasn’t.”

Levi cracked a small smile. He dropped his leg to the mattress and slid to the edge of the bed. 

“Are you going to be—?” I began.

Levi’s legs gave out beneath him and he fell in a heap on the floor. He swore quietly and reached up to the edge of the bed.

“I’ll help.” I climbed off the bed. I held my hands out for him and he took them. I helped pull him to his feet.

He stumbled into my chest and I wrapped my arms quickly around his waist.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“I, I can carry you,” I offered shyly.

Levi buried his face into my chest and huffed. After a moment, he finally nodded. He reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck. I bent my knees slightly and he hopped up into my arms. His legs twined around my waist. My hands hesitantly fell to his lower back. 

“Bathroom is through there.” Levi pointed toward the door that stood across from us.

I nodded and carefully navigated my way across the room. Levi was unsurprisingly light and I had little trouble carrying him, but I didn’t want to trip and make this whole night that much more embarrassing.

When I reached the door, I fumbled awkwardly with the door handle. I finally managed to get it open and I stepped into the vast bathroom. One side of it was dominated by a long counter, at the end of which stood a toilet. The opposite wall was bare save for a shower head and two handles. A small stool sat below the shower head. I took Levi to it. He dropped from my arms and plopped onto the stool. 

“I can take it from here,” he said as he reached up a flicked on the water.

I gasped as the water splattered against me and took a few hasty steps back.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he dropped his head to his knees.

“That’s okay,” I said. “Do you need anything else?”

He shook his head. 

I turned and started to leave.

“Eren.”

I looked over my shoulder.

The side of Levi’s head rested on his knee and he gazed up at me. 

“Thanks for coming upstairs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup, once again i made turret a bad guy. he's such an asshole in the ova okay i can't help myself  
> hope everyone liked the chapter. levi is a little masochist uke in this story and i'm so excited to write him as such


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little short, but that's okay i think  
> cw: self-harm

**Eren’s POV**

 

I almost fell asleep on the couch before Levi finally came downstairs. After about ten minutes of waiting for him, I thought that he had gone right to bed after showering. I had changed the sheets while he was in the bathroom before coming down to the living room to wait for him.

The patter of his bare feet roused me from my light slumber. I blinked my eyes open and straightened up. He was dressed in sweats and a long sleeve shirt. His wet hair was combed back from his face. He approached the couch with a touch of a limp.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Sore,” he said with a shrug. He dropped onto the couch beside me. “Thanks for making the bed.”

“No problem.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Do, do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Levi said. 

“Oh, okay.” I hadn’t expected him to want to, but I also hadn’t expected such a blunt dismissal. 

He released a sigh and said, “But it’s probably good if we do.”

“We really don’t have to,” I said. I glanced furtively over at him.

He quirked a brow and a small smirk played over his features. 

“You want to talk about it, don’t you?” he said.

“I, um…” I sighed quietly. “I just wanted to make sure I did the, the right thing,” I said in a low voice. “I’m not supposed to go upstairs, but, like…” Levi had already thanked me for coming upstairs, but I still needed assurance that I hadn’t broken his trust in some way.

“You did the right thing,” Levi said with a nod. “I must have been really loud if you could be all the way from your room.” He tapped his chin lightly with the knuckle of the forefinger. “Must have been because of the headphones,” he mused to himself.

“Actually, I was in the living room,” I admitted in a low voice. “I left my charger out here and I needed it to do work. Sorry; I know you want me to stay in my room when you have…friends over.”

“It turned out for the best,” Levi said with a shrug.

I sighed quietly. I was relieved that he wasn’t mad at me. 

“Who was that guy?” 

“Just someone I contacted on this BDSM website,” Levi said. He stretched his arms over his head and dropped them over the back of the couch. “It was a last minute arrangement and I wasn’t as thorough about looking into his background. Usually I’m better about finding doms who aren’t shitheads.”

“It, it’s not your fault,” I said earnestly. “That he did that stuff, I mean.”

“Don’t worry, Jaeger,” Levi said with a dry chuckle. “I’m not blaming myself. I’m just acknowledging that I had a hand in what happened. I’ll be more diligent next time.”

“Should you call the cops?” I asked in a low voice. I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye.

“No, that would be more trouble than it’s worth,” Levi said with a shake of his head. “I can easily get him banned from the site so he doesn’t do that to any other subs.” He released a heavy sigh and let his head fall back onto the couch. “Now I’m even more wound up than I was before,” Levi muttered. “That wasn’t satisfying in the slightest.”

“Well, sorry,” I mumbled under my breath. I shot him a mock-sulky pout.

Levi stared at me for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles. I laughed in awe as I stared at him. He was so adorable when he laughed like that. The laughter died out slowly.

“You did a fine job, Jaeger,” Levi said, “but I need to get rawed a few times to be satisfied.”

“I did not need to know that,” I said with a rueful laugh. I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment.

Levi chuckled quietly. “You’re taking this really well,” he said. He sat forward and braced his elbows on his knees. 

“What is there to not take well?” I asked. 

“Well, like you said that really wasn’t in your job description,” Levi said. “Speaking of—“ His cheeks flushed slightly and he look over his shoudler at me—“if you don’t want to be my assistant anymore, I’d understand.” His eyes dropped to the floor and his shoulders hunched slightly.

“What?” I asked in confusion. “That, that didn’t change anything; this is still the best job I could ever hope for.”

“But what you saw…seeing your favorite author trussed up like that with anal beads shoved up his ass…” Levi didn’t say it, but I knew what he was thinking; he thought I thought differently of him now that I had seen him like that. 

“Your sex life is your business,” I said quietly, “and it doesn’t bother me.”

“You made me cum, Jaeger. That sounds a bit like your business,” Levi pointed out dryly. 

“Do you _want_ me to quit?” I shot back at him. There was a combative edge to my voice that I hadn’t meant to put there.

Levi huffed quietly. He sat back against the cushions and crossed his arms and legs.

“I don’t care one way or the other.”

“You don’t care? Levi, this is your personal life—your home. _I’m_ in your personal life; that’s something you should care about.”

“Well, I don’t,” Levi said with a shrug. “I never wanted an assistant in the first place.” He stood up and glanced down at me. “As long as you’re still comfortable with this job then it’s fine.” With that, he headed to the stairs and started up them. “By the way—“ He looked over his shoulder at me—“this doesn’t change the rule that you can’t come upstairs.”

I watched him with wide eyes as he mounted the final steps and vanished into his bedroom. My heart was hammering in my chest. Levi didn’t want an assistant; he didn’t want _me_. He was of the mind that he would be better off without me. Nothing he had said had been intentionally malicious, but I still felt the sensation of loathing creeping up my spine. No one ever said anything intentionally malicious to me, and yet this snarled, tar-like feeling of self-hatred always managed to lodge itself in my chest. In a way I almost felt like it would have been better if someone was outright malicious toward me. That would justify this choking feeling.

I shoved off the couch and bolted into the guest room. It was unlike me to have two cutting incidents so close to each other, and yet I soon found myself on the floor of the bathroom with the slender razor blade pressed to the inside of my forearm. This night had been stressful, confusing, and then to top off the bedroom incident Levi had basically said he didn’t want me as his assistant. Sure, he didn’t want _any_ assistant, but the rational side of my mind couldn’t overcome the feeling that my favorite author wanted me out of his life.

With this last thought in mind, I gave in and dragged the blade quickly across my skin. I repeated this act until the first wound started to drip crimson orbs. I cleaned myself up quickly, efficiently, naturally. 

When I was finished, I tossed my shirt in the laundry and found a fresh long sleeve one. I pulled the dark gray fabric over my head as I moved to the bed. When I reached it, I dropped into the comforting embrace of the mattress and let myself be swallowed by sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you everyone for all of your support of my writing! if you want to help fuel me to write more you can buy me a coffee! http://ko-fi.com/A006GYB


	6. Chapter 6

**Eren’s POV**

 

The next morning found me once again preparing breakfast for Levi, but, boy, was I pissed about it. _Why the hell was I still doing this?_ I thought angrily as I ladled yogurt into a bowl. I should just leave and make the author fend for himself. 

I sighed as this thought crossed my mind. I couldn’t do that no matter how frustrated I was with how Levi had behaved last night. This job was stupidly well-paying and I was getting experience I never could have imagined when I went to the office with Levi. _Being with Levi_ had previously been on the list of pros, but I was too mad at him right now for it to make the cut. If he wanted me to leave, he should just grow a pair and kick me out, but, no, he was too indifferent about everything to do that.

“Morning.”

I spun around in surprise at the sound of Levi’s voice. He was shuffling across the living room, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he went. Despite the fact that he seemed to have just rolled out of bed, his hair was perfectly combed and his clothes didn’t sport any wrinkles. He sat down at the dinning room table and pulled out his phone.

He didn’t seem to expect a reply, which was good, since I wasn't about to give one. I’d probably sound like a pissy bitch if I did. I returned my attention to preparing breakfast. When the yogurt and fruit bowls were ready, I brought them to the table. I plunked Levi’s down unceremoniously in front of him and with a sound that startled the author. He blinked in surprise at the bowl.

I went to the couch to eat. I couldn’t bring myself to be too close to him, but I also couldn’t leave the room without it looking like I was blatantly avoiding him. I propped the bowl on my knees and glowered at its contents.

“Eren,” Levi began slowly, “is something the matter?”

“No,” I said without looking over at him. 

“You seem a little…” For someone who had been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize he had quite a bit of difficulty finding the right words in everyday conversation. “Upset,” he finally decided upon. “Is it because of last night?”

“It’s nothing,” I snapped. I shoveled a large spoonful of yogurt into my mouth to keep from spitting out anything else.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” Levi said. 

I swallowed my mouthful. “Well, it is,” I shot back. “And what do you care? You don’t even care whether you have an assistant.” 

“Eren,” Levi began, starting to rise from his chair. "What's the matter?"

“I’m angry, okay?” I slammed the bowl onto the coffee table and surged to my feet. I spun toward him and glared down at him.

Levi dropped back into his seat and stared up at me with wide eyes. He blinked several times as if trying to comprehend my words. I didn’t give him a chance to in favor of plowing on.

“You keep going on and on about how you don’t want an assistant. How do you think that makes me feel? Like crap, that’s how! I moved out of my apartment to live here with you. I could be living with my best friend still, but I gave that up to come live here with you because you’re too fucking incompetent to make yourself a meal.” 

Levi’s lips pursed slightly and he twisted his head to the side. His dark gaze locked on the tabletop. 

My tirade had left me panting. As I collected my breath, I slowly realized that I had _definitely_ crossed the line with that last statement. The rest of what I’d said was entirely valid. The last bit I’d said simply to take a jab at Levi. I opened my mouth to apologize, but Levi spoke first.

“I’m sorry.” He continued to stare at the table so he didn’t see the expression of utter astonishment that crossed my face. “I’ve never lived with anyone else before. In college I never had a roommate. When I was a kid, my parents weren’t home a lot. I’m not use to sharing my space with someone else.  I didn’t mean to be, but I was bit of a jackass to you when I said I didn’t care if you stayed or not. I guess I was just thinking that you should do what’s best for you. I don’t want you to waste your time being a housewife for a twenty-seven-year-old who never bothered learning how to take care of himself.” He looked up at me. His face was as expressionless as ever, but his brows were slightly furrowed in thought. “It’s nice having someone in the house. Hearing someone walking around makes the place feel lived in. I didn’t think I would like having someone else live here, but it isn’t half bad." His frown deepened further. “I want you to stay.”

I stared at him. My jaw had come completely unhinged—I probably looked demented, but I couldn’t bring myself to close my mouth. After a several long moments of uninterrupted eye contact, I finally clamped my mouth shut, only to open it a moment later to give my own apology.

“I’m sorry too,” I said quietly. A flush spread over my face and I dropped my gaze to the floor. “I shouldn’t have called you incompetent and I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“That was hardly yelling, Jaeger,” Levi said with a soft chuckle. He drew his feet onto the seat of the chair and propped his elbow on the table.

“Still, I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.” I scratched lightly on the fresh wounds on my arm that were concealed by my sweater. I had always had a difficult time getting a handle on my anger. If I didn't lash out, then I tended to take it out on myself. Lashing out usually led to people being pissed at me and saying shit that they had every right to say, but that only upset me more and then I would end up cutting anyway.

Levi’s gaze followed the movement and I quickly stowed my hands in my pockets.

"Don't worry about it,” Levi said with a shrug. “I shouldn’t have been such a dick. It was right of you to call me out on that; otherwise I wouldn't have known.”

I nodded slowly since I was at a loss for words. I hadn’t expected Levi to apology. After my tantrum, I had thought he’d throw me out of the apartment. Instead he had made me feel entirely valid for being angry and upset, which had never happened to me before. Usually I was put down or scolded for being angry, as if that wasn't a valid emotion. Sure, throwing shit and hurting people's feelings could never be justified, but that didn't mean I wasn't allowed to be angry. I just had to learn how to handle my anger appropriately.

“Do you want to finish your breakfast at the table or do you still want to sulk?”

“I wasn’t sulking,” I muttered under my breath. I did fetch my food and bring it to the table. I sat down in the chair beside him.

Levi’s mouth pricked with a small smile. He rotated to face the table and actually set about eating his breakfast. His bites were small, almost calculated. I really shouldn’t have made that jab about his meal-making abilities. He had already admitted to me that he had trouble finding an appetite when he was stuck on a project. On top of that he was worryingly thin; I had seen just how much so last night when he had been completely naked in front of me. 

“What work do you have up today?” I asked, hoping to fill the uncomfortable silence and to distract myself from thoughts of a naked Levi.

“None,” Levi said. “Don’t tell Hange, but I’m giving myself the day off.” He glanced up me and brought a finger to his lips in a hushing manner.

I laughed. “What work are you _supposed_ to be doing?”

“Somehow dragging out the plot of _Reluctant Heroes_ so it’s novel length.” Levi shook his head. “It was a short story for a reason, but Hange and Erwin are nagging me about making it into a novel.”

“I loved that story. You should totally turn it into a novel!” I blurted out before I could help myself. 

“Easier said than done.” Levi stretched his arms over his head, causing his shoulders to pop. “If you have any compelling ideas, let me know. It’s being an absolute bitch to write.”

I opened my mouth, eager to give Levi my thoughts on the story, but the author held up a hand.

“Not right now, Jaeger,” he said. “I’m taking the day _off_. You can tell me tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I said with a defeated sigh. “What are you going to do today then?” My real question was _what do you do besides write and have sex with strangers?_ , but that didn’t strike me as something entirely appropriate to say.

“I want to go to Six Flags,” Levi said. He stood up. “We’re leaving in ten minutes.”

“We?”

“I’m not going alone. That would be fucking lame, and I can’t take Hange because then they’ll know I’m skipping work.”

“O-okay,” I said hurriedly as I rose and took our bowls to the sink. “I’ll be ready in ten.”

* * *

Levi drove us to the park, once again like a bat out of hell. His way of driving was like a roller coast in of itself and when Levi asked me what I wanted to do first, I voted for a gentle ride. He had scoffed and called my choice lame, but he had still gone with me on the carousel.

He had also paid for my park entry, despite my protestations. 

“You probably have something better to do,” he had said as he handed his card over to the cashier.

The fact of the matter was I couldn’t think of anything better to do than spending the day at an amusement park with my favorite author. For someone as stoic and deadpan in nature as Levi, he was an absolute delight as an amusement park companion. He dragged me throughout the park, seeking out his favorite rides. He was well-acquainted with the layout of the park, which led me to believe that he was a frequent visitor. 

When we approached the most thrilling of the roller coasters, I jokingly asked Levi if he was tall enough to ride. He had skewered me with a that’s-not-funny look, but his glower hadn’t been too intimidating so I had laughed delightedly. Levi rolled his eyes. 

He was admitted on the ride, of course. A ride which almost made me shit myself I might add. Levi, on the other hand, was entirely unfazed by the ride, which led to a very amusing photo of the pair of us. Levi bought the photo because he found it ‘so fucking hilarious’. I had blushed and chuckled in embarrassment. Internally I was freaking out that the man I had admired for so long wanted to keep a photo of the pair of us.

Our activities weren’t limited to rides. We also played several of the arcade games. I was absolutely terrible at them, but Levi was something of an expert. He won a large panda bear, which he had promptly handed over to me.

“I already have it,” he’d informed me. 

Suffice it to say it had been amazing day. Levi really went out of his way to make sure I had a good time. He was probably trying to make up for what he’d said last night. This manifested in buying me copious amounts of park merch and various snacks. He even sat with me when I got nauseous after one of the roller coasters, even though I told him several times he could go enjoy himself. 

When we finally left at closing time, I was thoroughly exhausted. Our final ride had been the ferris wheel and I had almost fallen asleep on it. I did end up sleeping through the car ride home, which was a miracle considering how Levi took the curves of the road. 

Levi woke me with a light shake. I mumbled unintelligibly and he informed me that we were back at the apartment. I followed him to the elevator. Inside I slumped against the wall, clutching my hard-won panda bear to my chest. Levi was typing on his phone with furious thumbs. 

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Hange,” he said simply. “They want to know how the writing came today.”

“What are you telling them?” I felt a little guilty that I had partook in Levi’s free-of-writing day. As his assistant was I supposed to strap him to his desk chair and force him to write? The thought of tying him to his chair made me think of last night and I flushed a vibrant red.

“That I got nothing done,” he said with a shrug. From his dismissive tone, I guessed that this wasn’t a problem, though Levi and Hange’s definition of a problem might be a bit different.

When we reached the apartment’s entry hall, Levi bid me a good night and headed for the stairs. 

“Ah, Levi?” I called after him.

He turned around and cocked his head.

“Thanks for today,” I said. “I had a lot of fun.”

“Same,” he said. He turned away and headed upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone enjoyed! lemme know what you think! also i was stupid and got a parking ticket so now i'm really short on cash so if you want to you can donate to my ko-fi page :) http://ko-fi.com/A006GYB


	7. Chapter 7

**Eren’s POV**

 

“Hey, Armin,” I said as I tilted my computer screen to better encompass myself in the webcam.

“Hi!” Armin said with a cheerful wave. He was perched on the edge of his desk chair. His petite frame was hidden in a bulky sweatshirt. He had his hair tied back in a messy bun. It was getting a bit long, but he purportedly didn’t have time for a haircut. “How are you?” he asked.

“I’m okay,” I said with a shrug. I lounged back against the couch cushions.

Levi was at the gym right now so I didn’t have worry about him overhearing my conversation with Armin. I had only known this was the case because he’d left a note on the fridge, which I had found this morning. He said he’d be back around eleven, which was in an hour from now. _We should probably exchange numbers soon_ , I thought.

“Yeah?” Armin said. A small, understanding smile pulled at his lips. “How are you settling in?”

“It’s been a little rough,” I admitted. I ran my hands through my hair. I was dressed in short sleeves for once. A hoodie was draped on the couch beside me. I felt comfortable enough around Armin to not wear it, however. Armin had been in the loop about my self-harm for the past year now.

“How so?”

“I got overwhelmed a couple of times,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. This was my telltale admittance that I had cut, not that I needed to give one since Armin could see the fresh bandages on my arm. 

“That’s understandable,” Armin said with a nod. “You’re in a completely new environment with a new roommate you’d never met before.” He hooked a lock of hair that was too short for his bun behind his ear. “Are you two getting along?”

“We had a fight yesterday morning. Well, I kinda yelled at him and then he apologized for being a dick.”

“He was a dick to you?” Armin asked. His lips pursed slightly, which I took as evidence that he was getting offended on my behalf.

“It wasn't on purpose,” I said with a shake of my head. “He said that he didn't care if he had an assistant or not. That really upset me.” My hand drift subconsciously to my left arm, but with Armin’s soft blue eyes on me I only clasped my wrist. 

“Of course it did,” Armin said. “So did you tell him that?”

“Tell? Not so much. I yelled it at him, and then called him incompetent because he needs an assistant in the first place.”

Armin winced. 

“Yeah,” I agreed with his expression. “I was totally out of line.”

“What did he say?”

“He apologized,” I said. I was still surprised that that had happened. “Not for being incompetent, which he isn’t, but for saying he didn’t care if I stayed or not.”

“Was there a possibility you wouldn’t stay?” Armin asked with a frown.

“Well—“ I rubbed the back of my neck— “something happened that I can’t really talk about…” I trailed off. The contract I had signed prevented me from telling Armin about the other night, though I wasn’t sure if I would have regardless of it.

Armin nodded understandingly. “So he apologized and then what?”

“Then I had to apologize for being a total douche canoe,” I said. I smiled as I remembered Levi validating my anger. “He wasn’t pissed at me for being angry at him, and he told me to always call him out when he does something like that because he won’t know otherwise.”

“You guys handled that really well.” Armin grinned. “Sounds like you’ll work out at roommates.”

“Yeah, I think he really likes having me here.” I flushed happily at the thought. “It’s just new for him, living with someone else. Oh! After the fight, he took me to the amusement park for the day!”

“I thought he was working on his new novel yesterday,” Armin said. He wiggled his brows.

“Oh, shit, right. Did you hear that from Erwin?”

“Yeah, Hange told him that Levi’s not making progress on _Reluctant Heroes_.”

“He’s not,” I said with a laugh, “because we were at Six Flags for _eight_ hours.” I knew Armin wouldn’t tattle on Levi and I for shirking our respective duties.

“That sounds like a blast,” he said.

“It was. Levi won me a panda bear.”

“Oh,” Armin said with smirk.

“Not like that,” I said, waving my hand dismissively. “He just gave it to me because he’d already won that one.”

“Really?” Armin snorted with laughter. “Does he go to the park a lot?”

“I think so,” I said with my own laugh. “He was so cute there, and he doesn’t get scared on the roller coasters at all.”

“Wait,” Armin said, raising a hand. “He was _cute_.”

“I know, right? He comes off as such an uptight dick at the office.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to put it like that, but yes.” Armin shook his head. “I can’t imagine him being cute.”

The rattle of keys announced the arrival of our topic of conversation.

“I have to go,” I said as I grabbed my hoodie off the couch and pulled it on. “Levi’s back from the gym.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later,” Armin said with a wave, “and, Eren, don’t forget: you can always talk to me when you get overwhelmed.” He knew that that was easier said than done, but I appreciated his reminding me.

“I know, thanks.” I waved goodbye and ended the call just as the front door swung open.

“Hey,” I said as I turned toward the door.

Levi glanced up. He gave a short nod by way of greeting. He toed off his sneakers and put them on the shoe rack. He was dressed in sweat pants and hoodie, which he wore unzipped, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. 

“You’re back early,” I said as I watched him cross to the laundry room that stood off of the entry hall.

“Yeah,” he said. “I got bored.” He pulled his dirty clothes out of his gym bag and tossed them into the hamper.

“Do you want anything to eat?”

Levi shook his head. “I had a smoothie at the gym,” he said. He walked over to the stairs. 

“Are you going to work on the story?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Did you want to bounce ideas off of me?” I asked with a slight level of trepidation. 

Levi glanced over his shoulder. “Oh,” he said. He sounded mildly distracted. “Sure, I’m just going to take a shower first.”

I nodded, but when his back was turned to me, my expression dropped into a frown. His hair was damp, most likely from having showered at the gym, but maybe he liked taking two showers. If there was one thing I knew about Levi, it was that he was rather peculiar.

I set about making myself breakfast while Levi showered. To keep myself distracted from getting stupidly excited over the prospect of helping Levi with one of my favorite stories of his, I prepared a large plate of eggs and bacon. Since I had been eating whatever I served Levi, I hadn’t had quite this large of a breakfast since I'd gotten here.

As I settled down at the dinning room table to dig into the food, Levi appeared at the top of the stairs. He wore a small towel draped over his dripping hair. He was dressed in a new pair of sweats and a gray shirt. He carried his laptop loosely at his side as he descended. 

“Alright,” he said as he dropped the computer onto the table, “let’s get this shit show on the road.”

I wasn’t entirely certain how best to open the conversation so I started by telling him what I liked best about the _Reluctant Heroes_ short story. He nodded slowly as I spoke. Occasionally, when I raved perhaps a bit too earnestly about how much I loved the story, Levi would blush and duck his head. I had seen him this generously praised during interviews or when he was accosted by fans while leaving a TV studio. He had always responded with his typical stoic expression and a small nod. Perhaps it was different since he was in the privacy of his own home.

After I had finished regaling him my love for the story, I told about what in the story I wanted to know more about. The overall feel of the conversation was very similar to the one he’d had with Hange the other day in the sense that Levi’s contributions were limited to nods and short comments. He took down a few notes on his computer as we talked. 

“Is there anything you didn’t like about the story?” Levi asked when I listed off the approximately forty seventh thing I had loved about it.

I frowned and gazed down at plate of food, which was still rather full since I had been talking so much. 

“Well,” I began hesitantly. There was something that I had in mind.

“Spit it out, Jaeger,” Levi said. “With some tact.” He cast me a quick smirk.

I laughed quietly and gave a nod. “I felt like there were a few plot points that didn’t get wrapped up entirely, like how he and Mel knew each other. I kept expecting that to be resolved but it never was.”

“And there were a few of those moments?” Levi asked.

I listed off the others that I had noted as Levi nodded along.

“Yeah, I wrapped things up a bit too quickly for my liking and left some things dangling,” he agreed. “Maybe that’s why Hange and Erwin want me to make it into a novel: as punishment for not doing a good job in the first place.” He snorted ruefully.

“Other than that it was really good,” I said hurriedly.

“I know you think so, Jaeger. You spent the last twenty minutes kissing my ass.”

I flushed. “I did not,” I muttered under my breath. “I just said what I liked about it.”

“Quite enthusiastically,” Levi said with a teasing half-smile. “Thanks.” Levi closed his computer. “This has helped a lot.” He rose from his chair.

“Really?” I gazed up excitedly at him.

“Yes,” Levi said with a nod. “Thanks.”

“Of course, any time. Good luck with writing it.”

Levi nodded.  “You’ll make a good editor,” he said as he crossed the living room.

“Th-thank you,” I stuttered. My cheeks were burning from the praise.

* * *

Levi locked himself in his room for the rest of the day. I spent my time binge watching _Bob’s Burgers_. At lunch and dinner time, I called up to him to tell him food was ready. He emerged only to take his meals upstairs. I couldn’t help but doubt that he would eat any of it; he seemed to be in the throws of struggling with the story, which meant he wouldn’t be eating much.

I was lounging on the couch with my computer on the coffee table, when a pounding on the front door reached my ears through my headphones. It was close to nine o’clock, I noted, and Levi hadn’t told me anything about having a friend over. 

I pulled my headphones off and got up from the couch. The knocking persisted as I approached the door and I grumbled under my breath. I unbolted the door and pulled it open.

“Can I help you?” I said in my bitchiest tone, which I hoped would make the late-night caller feel dutifully remorseful for making such a ruckus. 

A man I didn’t recognize stood in the doorway. He looked to be in his late thirties. He was dressed in a business suit, though he lacked a tie and his shirt was all mussed up. His face was flushed; his eyes slightly bloodshot. 

“Who the fuck are you?” the man slurred. 

“Um.” I wasn’t entirely certain what to do with a drunkard who’d showed up on Levi’s door. My first instinct was to shut the door in the man’s face, but before I could do that he shoved me out of the way with stunning force. I slammed against the wall and gasped in surprise.

The man stormed down the entry hall. “Levi!” he bellowed. “Where the fuck is that little bitch?” he muttered to himself as he walked into the living room.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded as I marched down the hall after him. It was clear now that he wasn’t just some lost rando, and also that I needed to get him out of the apartment before he did something to Levi. I grabbed the man’s arm. “You can’t just come busting in here, you prick.”

The drunk yanked his arm free. Ignoring me, he continued toward the stairs.

“Levi!” he yelled again.

“What the fuck!” Levi’s loud voice came from beyond his bedroom door. The door burst open. Levi stalked to the head of the stairs and planted his hands on his hips.

“Levi." The drunk and I said his name at the same time with notably different tones. The intruder was as demanding as ever, while my voice was almost plaintive.

Levi’s eyes flickered between us.

“Levi,” the man said again as he started to mount the steps. “Why the fuck haven’t you been answering my calls?” 

Levi’s gaze locked on him. “What the fuck, Gabe? Are you fucking drunk?”

“I missed you,” the man slurred.

“I’m sorry, Levi, I couldn’t stop him,” I said.

"Don't worry about it, Jaeger,” Levi said. “I’ll take it from here.” He stomped down the steps. “Go sit on the couch before you fall over, you drunk dick head.”

The man did as he was told. He flopped onto the couch. Levi walked over him. 

“You can go,” he told me, though his attention was the man.

I swallowed, slightly uncomfortable about leaving Levi alone with a drunk. All the same, I turned away and went to my room.

“You letting kids fuck you now?” I heard the man asked I entered my bedroom.

"Oh, fuck yourself on a cactus, Gabe," Levi shot back.

I chuckled at Levi's comment as I closed the door behind myself. I took to pacing back and forth across my room as I waited for Levi to kick the guy out. That was, if he didn’t end up taking the drunk upstairs to fuck. I cringed at the thought. It was clear to me now that the guy was some spurned sex friend. I really hoped Levi wouldn’t sleep with him. He seemed like a total douche. These thoughts ate away at me, and my pacing turned to annoyed stomping. 

About ten minutes later, I heard the front door open and shut, I breathed a sigh of relief. Unless they had fucked on the couch under a minute, Levi had just thrown the guy out. 

A knock sounded on my door. I went to it and pulled it open.

“Sorry about that,” Levi said as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Who was that guy?” I said with a touch more annoyance than I had intended.

“Some prick I used to fuck,” Levi said frankly, confirming my suspicions. “I guess he didn’t get the message that we’re over.”

“Sorry I couldn’t stop him from coming in,” I said as I tugged on the ends of my sleeves. 

“That’s hardly your job,” Levi said with a wry laugh. “You’re not my bouncer.” 

"I know, but still," I muttered. "I got worried he'd do something like that guy from the other night." I released a small sigh as my hand moved to my arm. I rubbed absentmindedly at the bandages below my sleeves.

"I can take care of myself." Levi gave a small smile. "When I'm not tied up," he added.

I flushed. "I, I'm glad," I said.

"Sorry that douche fucked up your night."

"Oh, it's fine," I said with a shake of my head.

Levi nodded. "Night, Eren," Levi said.  He turned and headed down the hall.

"Night, Levi."

I turned away from the door and went to the bathroom to shower. While it had been a boring day overall, the end to it had been anything but. A long, hot shower would help clear my thoughts about that so-called 'Gabe''s unwanted appearance, and the lingering annoyance I still harbored at the thought that Levi had hooked up with such a cock waffle. 


End file.
